terrible?

You know that feeling you get when things go terribly wrong? And by that, I mean things that you planned. Intentionally. You planned them intentionally with the presupposition that they would go right and nothing would interfere. The feeling like you... like you swallowed acid and your body can't decide whether to throw up or to cry because it hurts. That's what I feel like right now, and thats why it sucks to be a teenager. 


Aside from feeling like the sky is falling, I realized today that maybe Naproxen is more useful in the pain department than I thought, specifically because I missed my dose this morning and by about 7 p.m. I was in acutely annoying pain. And by acutely annoying, I mean horrendous. I started using my canes, (which are awesome.) and I couldn't get up off of the floor and everything just got really ugly. So in all honesty maybe the Naproxen is doing something for the pain, its just not doing half enough for me to not be in pain. The thing is though, I didn't have the highest tolerance for pain when this mess started, and it hasn't really gotten better with time. So maybe I was just having a really bad day. I did a lot of walking, more than normal. We went to Staples and then to Wal-Mart, so I was out and about (with my canes). Ugh. 


caesura

photography schtuff?

Well, today has been interesting. I slept way too long, did barely any homework, I'm sore as usual... You know. Just all that crappy EDS stuff. 


Well anyway, I made that watermark I was talking about doing. I kind of like it. "Gabrielle Caesura Photography" kind of has this ring to it, right?? I like it at least. The watermark thing itself needs a little more work, but that can be done sometime other than now. 

I went ahead and used some of my favorite pictures for the first ones with marks on them... :)

This one is my sister on her horse. :) Megan and Amber. 

This is the magnolia tree outside of Andrew's house. Well... Thats all I can really say for now. 

caesura

farms and forests and fights - oh my!!

 I got that batch of pictures done from the farm that I was talking about. We went back into the woods on their property to take pictures. These are only a few, I didn't want to bore you with the whole set. :)  Some of these I don't like as much as others, but I thought they were all worth sharing. 

This is my favorite tree... 

As you can see, I played with the light, and sun spots a lot in this batch... I like the sun a lot, it adds dimension to artsy pictures. :)and in case you were wondering, yes, Andrew is holding a machete in this picture. 

I have this thing with lamp-posts the way I have a thing with doors - They're ALL SO DIFFERENT. So... I guess I have a thing for taking pictures of things that are diverse? Maybe? I shouldn't think this hard this late at night... 

This one didn't look right in color. :) It was too confused in color, and now its calmer. Sometimes things are really just black and white. 

Andrew thought this was a great picture, and I agreed with him. There's this place back in the woods at their place that has a really old trash pile. Its so old, that the things you find there aren't plastic trash its all glass. Everything is a glass bottle, jar, or a metal bottle cap. He took a bunch of the jars and scattered them here. 

The cutest little pink flowers are by the path... just thought I'd point that out... 

These last two are my favorite so I made them huge that way you get their full effect. They're so cool they need no explanatory captions. :)

So... aside from editing these and gong for a walk for the first time in months, I had a really terrible day. But now its bedtime for cripples so I have to go to sleep. I'll tell you aaaaalllllll about my terrible day in the morning. I'm sure you're all thrilled to read about it. :)


Seriously though, it was pretty bad. Just sayin'. You should be on the edge of your seat waiting... the suspense should be killing you... Okay I can't stand it. Bedtime can wait. 


Andrew and I had a fight. Yeah. I know. Imagine that, teenagers in a relationship fighting. Being honest, we didn't used to fight, but we do now, and everything kind of, well... hit the fan if you know what I mean. We were having a really great day and then promises got brought up and everyone got really tense so everything was misunderstood and it just got really ugly really fast. We both regret it, but that doesn't mean it didn't happen. And there were even some not-so-super-nice words exchanged. Yeah. Crazy right? I know. 


Anyway, there's why my day went to you-know-what after about four o'clock. 


Ugh. 


I feel better. Goodnight!! 


caesura

a tidbit of thanks:

I am thankful that I wasn't too terribly limpy today, which meant that I got to take some pretty wicked pictures in Andrew's Grandparent's woods and that I will be posting them tomorrow because they're too cool to keep all to myself. :) I should come up with a watermark for the pictures I edit... 


In other news, I am STILL waiting for my canes. (I'm not terribly patient when it comes to things like snail-mail... too bad they can't sent it via wonka-vision like in the old Willy Wonka movie... That would be great. They could send it in a million little pieces and re-assemble them on my porch... Anyway.)


caesura

pictures of life

Just so that everyone knows, there was NOT a storm here last night, it totally missed my town, which meant that I got very little sleep. Aside from that, I felt the need to redeem myself after that not-so-flattering picture I posted last night, so here are some pictures of me/my life/my family that are much more post-worthy.

My sister rides horses, and this is a mini-horse's nose! :) Its name is Piper. 

This is my mom and one of her dogs, Harper. He's my buddy. The other dogs don't like me much. 

This is my sister wearing a cup on her head... I don't know why. I just like the picture because she is very smiley. 

This is the sidewalk outside of my house. I like this picture too for some reason... 

A slightly more flattering picture of me... I painted that. :)

This is the picture that my sister and I call "close encounters of the third kind" because it looks like aliens are trying to pull my mom into their space ship.

When I try to take pictures of Andrew, he makes this face at me. It means "I swear if you point that camera at me one more time I will take it and throw it into the creek" in this specific scenario... we were hiking. Well, he was hiking and I was holding onto my walking stick for dear life. 

This is one of the other doggies, Baxter. He's the oldest. They're all Welsh Corgis, if anyone knows what that is. They're adorable doggies... 

I used to jump off of things. My friend Jane and I liked to go to the park by my house and take pictures of us jumping off of the picnic table. Never again... 

This is cave graffiti! I love graffiti. There were so many people who left their mark there... al the way back to the 1800s and before. Even indians made markings on the walls of ash cave. Its incredible. 

This is one of the water falls at Old Man's Cave in Hocking Hills State Park. I took this picture on the last tip we took there. I was exhausted by the end of our hike... Its probably one of the last times I'll ever hike there because its got basically 600 stairs no matter which way you tie the trails together. I'm going to miss it. I used to love hiking. 

Well, there it is. A bunch of random pictures from my random life. :) Enjoy!!

caesura

stormy weather and memories

There is a huge storm headed my way - I remember a time when I would be outside right now, sitting and waiting for the rain. Of course, the predicted half dollar sized hail wouldn't be the best thing to go run around in, so maybe that wasn't the best thing to have come to mind... I do love storms though. Thunder helps me sleep. I don't know why, but it does. That and the raindrops on my windows. 

ANYWAY, I was messing around on my computer, and I just found this picture that I played with in photo-shop a while back. Its of me and Andrew for prom a last year - before any of this Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome nonsense. Everything was fine and we were happy teenagers. Honestly everything was great and we had no worries... except for his Type 1 Diabetes and heart problems that we keep under control. Other than that, we were pretty normal. And now both of us are just medical money pits... Looking at this picture brought a lot back though. Prom seems to be the poster child of high school - almost everyone goes. Everyone has their prom story. The reason they went, the reason they didn't, what they did at dinner, some embarrassing memory. Everybody. Me? My memory is being able to walk in un-sensible shoes and not having to worry about whether or not my pain meds worked or not. Thats what I remember. I remember NOT worrying about the chair I sat in at the restaurant we went to, and NOT thinking about the stairs I had to walk to go to the bathroom. I remember falling once, because my ankle rolled like it did all of the time. No cause for concern. And I remember being happy, and healthy. Or at least I thought I was healthy... I wasn't, it was just that nobody could see it yet. It was hiding, because thats what EDS does. It hides and then pops out and says "APRIL FOOLS - YOU'RE NOT WHAT YOU THINK YOU ARE!!!" Thats what it does. 


But I'm not bitter. Not at all. :) I'm okay with what I've got. I just have to rant about it sometimes. :)


And this face... Well lets just say I have a habit of getting caught making some not-so-flattering faces when people have cameras pointed at me... Its a curse. 

caesura

ot, rolling backpacks, and fairy wings

My first occupational therapy appointment Friday went really well. My doc's name is Jenny, and she's great. I learned all kinds of things, and it was really... different. It was even different than I thought it was. It was really different. 


I got these exercises to do, because my upper body strength is literally half that of people my age. The average 16 year old has 57 lbs of grip strength, if I remember right, and mine was about 30. The average 16 year old has about 17 lbs of pinch strength (again, don't quote me on that, I think I remember though), and I have slightly over 10. I'm pretty weak. It doesn't really surprise me though, I've always been weaker than my friends. It literally took Jenny NO effort to push my arms down, and less to collapse my wrists. I'm REALLY hypermobile. She was kind of amazed at how loose my joints really are. 

I did though, get these really awesome finger splints. You see, my fingers collapse with the slightest bit of pressure put on them, and they have absolutely no muscle strength. They collapse when I type. Honestly. Its ridiculous. But anyway, she gave me these splints that keep the top joints in my fingers from bending backwards! It was great! 

Clunky Splints!!!

HALFWAY FUNCTIONAL FINGER!!!

They look clunky, but they have rings that do the same thing and I'm looking into getting them. They're expensive, but they work at least. It was really exciting for me to put my finger down on the table and not see it arch into a rainbow- thats what I call them. My "rainbow" fingers. Aside from that, I now have a four-square ball tat I use for exercises, and a wash cloth. I do some different things with each of them, but they're both for upper body strength. I won't get to do anything that helps my legs and my hips for another little while- actually, it will be April 25th. So I have about another month to wait. I'm not particularly excited about the wait, but thats okay. 

Rainbow Fingers!! (And no, thats not the furthest they go...)

Another big thing since my last post is my rolling backpack. I'm excited about that because not only is it big enough to fit all of my school stuff in it, but it's super-cute. :) I should take a picture... I really like it. It came in the mail two days ago, and I can't wait until the end of spring break- I get to take it to school with me and use it. 

Wicked Awesome Backpack!!!

Last but not least, I worked yesterday. As you can tell from my profile picture, I'm a facepainter. I wear fairy wings and make little kids smile. Its a great job. I love it. Its also exhausting which is why I've been sitting on my behind all day staring at this computer and doing homework. I've just been so exhausted. I woke up sore everywhere, and I felt like there were bruises on the bottoms of my feet. It was crazy- I slept until noon. I only worked for two hours even, and I basically chilled out after work. I just sat around, went to my boyfriends house where I sat on the couch watching movies on his new Dish TV subscription... His mom decided that cable was too expensive, and they get two months of free movie channels. I'm excited because in the two years that we've been together, he has never had internet and that makes playing Words with friends on my ipod at his house very difficult... anyway... I sat around. I wasn't even out late. I came home at 9 and went to bed. Which means that I effectively slept for 15 hours and was still sore. AM still sore. Its crazy... EDS sucks. 


Sorry about the quality of the pics in this post- I tool them last minute with my computer. :) Thats also why the JanSport logo on the backpack is backwards... Whoops!!


caesura